Autism Moves Out

 

Well, it happened. CJ went to college, at least one summer session of a college experience at the Arc Jacksonville. He had never been away from home for more than four nights. The was four weeks. FOUR WEEKS!!!!

We applied and I waited anxiously for an answer. I’m pretty sure we were one of the first applications. I waited very impatiently. We got our answer. He was in!! We went and toured the apartments and met the people involved. CJ liked the apartment and was excited. We got the supply list and I was off. I made the obligatory trip to Ikea and they cooperated with all things green down to green picture frames for $.99. I packed, checked off lists and loaded the car.

We got there and went to the parent orientation. We went to his apartment and he told me good-bye. What?? Nothing is set up. It’s MY job. I need to prove I’m a good mom. Well, OK. I could set up. We had almost 3 hours. It took 20 minutes. The other parents were still setting up. We waited around. He told us to leave, multiple times. Finally, we did. I was all prepared for the flood of emotions. They never came. He was fine, so was I.

I knew he would want to tell me good night and I wanted to reassure him that he was fine there. He hadn’t called and I wanted to catch him before he went to bed, so I called him.

Me—Hi. How are you?
CJ—I’m talking to a girl. I gotta go. I’ll call you in the morning.

Only, he didn’t. He was fine, really fine.

The pattern continued with me calling him begging for information, him having to go. He did talk to other family members and friends, usually over FaceTime. He was always having fun and usually had to go as “the guys” were leaving or there was a girl involved.

After week one, I got a report. It said he likes girls, check. He ate all his snacks the first day, check. He ate other people’s food, check. He was having a great time and loves hanging with the guys, check. Everything was going as expected. Better than hoped for.

He had to menu plan, shop and cook. They took field trips to a baseball game, the museum, the zoo and the movies. They rode the bus and practiced crossing the major intersection near the apartments. He loved everything. I never heard a complaint.

I got week 2 and then week 3’s reports. The consistent theme was that he ate all his snacks day one and ate other people’s food.

I couldn’t reach him about midway through. It turns out his phone went in the pool. I guess he’s more normal than I give him credit for.

The weeks flew by. It was time to come home. It took longer to get out than it did to drop off. Stuff was left in his room and I had to go back in twice. His keys were lost and then found. His wallet had been missing for two weeks. The big problem with the wallet was that his ID was in it. I was starting to wonder if it was all a ploy to stay.

We left and came home. The whole way I was anxiously hopeful that there would be changes. It was instantaneous. He walked through the door and everything went back to the way it was. I was crushed. All that and nothing…or was it?

He does his own laundry. He comes with me to the gym and rides the bike for as long as I’m there. He cooks when someone else comes to cook with him. He won’t cook with me, but I am his mom, after all.

He talks about it all the time. He tells everyone how great it was. His favorite thing changes from the pool, to the apartment, to the zoo, to just hanging out with the guys. He wants to go back. He won’t stop asking when he is moving. Not “if”, “when”.

School has started for his final year. The countdown has begun. It’s not as scary now. There is hope where there was none before. The best part is that things are more normal than I ever thought possible.