I thought I was going to be anxious and upset. I have no plan. I don’t have a check list. Nothing is organized and I don’t know what the next steps are supposed to be. I realize that we are never going to be as supported and connected to the community again, and that should leave me feeling terrified.
But I’m not. I’m actually ridiculously calm.
We have some options, which I’ll talk more about in a future post. It’s not hopeless. We’re going to be okay. I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but somehow, maybe for the first time in my life, that’s okay.
I’m not sure yet how much CJ has grasped that things are forever changed now. That he won’t be going back to high school in the fall. That his place in the world is different now. Everywhere he’s ever gone, he’s always been loved and adored. Will that continue? What if it doesn’t? How much harder is it going to be for CJ, outside of the protective envelope we’ve spent so much time building and nurturing?
I don’t know.
Right after graduation, CJ was off to 8 weeks of “college” at the ARC in Jacksonville Summer LIFE program. So for him, it’s still business as usual. Just a summer vacation before life goes back to normal.
A normal that’s not there any more.